Thursday, March 5, 2009

is it bright where you are

Every so often I'm made into something I'm not. They give me advice & for a couple days, maybe a few weeks, I'll keep up. Then I'll slowly revert back to the old me. It's simple. I'm simple. I don't know if it's expected or if I'm just trying to be what they want. I wonder how long this time will last.

An escape is what's needed. Every so often an escape from people & things & places & school & work. A world where no one really knows me & everything all built up within escapes. There's only so much one can take until they break. Next week, it ends. Up in smoke. The progression, the excitement, the release. Back to square one. Broke & needing something to hit.

The sounds of 4am are no longer appealing to me. Once a breathe of fresh air from the stupidity of the average person, now it haunts me. The silence has become unbearable. The quiet of my new life. It's coming to an end, I know. But sometimes it's just too much. There's not enough stimulation, interaction. It leaves me questioning too much; too little?

Music guides my way.

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