On my hand, a tradition I will never properly understand. Fashion deems that okay. I do not. There's so much in this world I wish I knew, I wish I understood. There's so much in this world that I wish I had a passion for, but I don't. The superiority of your intelligence intimidates me. The vastness of your knowledge leaves me wondering. Do I stack up?
The weather toys with my mind. This time of year never bodes well for me. Dr. Jekyll? Mr. Hyde? We'll see soon, won't we? Pleasantness is not my forte this time around. Don't expect me to be your best friend, because I'm not even my own lately. Good & evil play ping pong in my head. Stress builds up & keep piling it on. I want success! I want to be loved! I want to be.... no.
I fell today. Maybe I aimed too high, maybe too low. I put a price on greatness that I just can't pay. Do well for a while & the price goes up. You want it more. & more. & more. When you fall, you fall hard. Loving myself is a new necessity.
I've never been religious, but our talks touch me. In a way I doubt I've ever felt before. Where tears fall & I'm unable to control them. I find myself praying these days. To who or what, I don't know. & about what you'll never know, but I do. A more touching & personal experience. It's made me a believer. There's a reason for us. & as much as it scares me, I've never felt so amazing.
I try to recapture the revelations made Thursday night, but they seem gone. My beliefs, my thoughts, my views... gone. The beauty I thought I saw reflected has disappeared only to be replaced with a diminished form of hatred & disgust. Diminished! That's key.
Hidden within the stacks, I'll meditate. Achieving the perfect harmony I crave in this moment.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment